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Fears I have... about this Blog.

Overcoming Insecurity and Embracing My Efforts Over Self-doubt and Comparison Paralysis

Everything has been done. There is someone out there doing everything I want to do, and they're doing it better. That someone is probably really well connected, many years ahead of my pace, well funded, with great equipment, they're probably super attractive, an incredible writer, oh and they've probably done better due diligence. Now someone is going to see what I've done and call me out for not being all those things, and all the things I haven't even thought of that make me inadequate compared to...

The ramble of fear. I am not a terribly insecure person, but I am certain of all those things.

Criticize This.

It is hard to put yourself out there. It's hard to put your process in view because there will be criticisms. Even I will come back to things I've done and cringe sometimes. The alternative to getting out there though? Doing nothing. That has its own drawbacks and draws its own criticisms. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't. You might as well regret trying something that didn't go perfectly than regret never trying.

I'm no original.

No matter how hard a person tries to be original there are comparable examples. I was wandering through Barnes & Noble today and was overwhelmed with the content, which is exponential online. The reality that I'm a drop in the ocean can make me feel like there is no point in participating. So often I don't, but what if the flood affected everyone that way? The ocean would dry up. Maybe nothing I share is unique or nobody will read it, or many people will hate it, but maybe someone will love it, and maybe I'll like doing it. Creating is a risk and even the worst copycats have given someone something to do and food for someone else's thoughts. You can't know what impact you'll have until you try.

Comparison paralysis.

My ego does cartwheels when I think about wasted time and the pace of my achievements, or lack of them. I feel shame when I see others in my position or at my age doing things I still dream of. I can reassure myself and message my ego into submission, but the flare of envy happens. I so deeply wish to be ten steps ahead of today's pace sometimes. How do I overcome this?

Here are my three steps to overcoming comparison paralysis:

  1. Breath work. Focusing on where I am physically helps distract me from the existential place my mind wanders. Grounding is vital when the ego is driving.

  2. Consider what I'm grateful for where I currently stand. With eyes closed I search my mind for what really feels tender and good in my life today. Tomorrow is exciting, but today has things to be present for too.

  3. Write my dreams down on paper. Knowing where I want to go, with clear intention, reminds me that I'm on my road and I can still get where I dream to be.

Life is a full experience. There are great exciting things and terribly overwhelming things. Creating and expressing oneself is the art of capturing that great big life experience and managing a way to share how you feel it. If what I have to say is well intended, and not structured to hurt, then I choose to add it to the ocean. A swell of what we create together is so much more dynamic and nourishing than a desert. What do you think?

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